The advantages of spraining your ankle

By  | August 7, 2011 | Filed under: Miscellaneous

Spraining your ankle means you can’t play sport. This is good because sport is pointless and dangerous and must be avoided at all costs.

Spraining your ankle means you have more time for activities that do not require walking. These include worthwhile pursuits such as reading the whole Internet, sending silly emails and setting up websites with meaningless names.

Spraining your ankle means you really appreciate your social life. Or at least, the social life you had when you could actually leave home and see other people.

Spraining your ankle means friends have to help you with basic everyday tasks, such as shopping and carrying cups of tea. This saves them from the wasteful things they would have been doing otherwise, like working or something actually fun.

Spraining your ankle means you discover new ways to pass the time. Like sitting in your overheated third floor flat with your leg raised, looking out the window at a beautiful sunny day.

Spraining your ankle means you truly appreciate distance, such as how far the cooker is from the fridge or your shoes from where you will sit to put them on.

Spraining your ankle means you learn about the way the body works. For example, how if you wake up in the middle of the night and try to walk then you will interrupt the healing process suddenly and your leg will hurt so excruciatingly when you put weight on it that you have to hop to the bathroom.

Spraining your ankle is exciting because it adds a whole new degree of uncertainty to your life. Will I be able to walk to the shop before I run out of milk? Will driving be comfortable by the date I’ve arranged to watch a tournament in London? Will I be able to play badminton by the time the league season starts?

Spraining your ankle gives you a real insight into the lives of people that do not go out and do something fun with other people every evening. Specifically, it makes you wonder how the hell they can be fulfilled by spending every bloody evening in front of the bloody television or playing bloody computer games.

In short, spraining your ankle is an awesome experience and I encourage you to follow my example.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *